


The Death Phazers Games

by GothMoth



Series: Phantom Phang Phucking Phreaking Phantastical Phabulous Phic Phight Phics 1.0 (The 2019 Edition Revamped) [2]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Danny's Suffering Being Used For Comedic Gain, Gen, Gross-Out Humour, Sports, Vomiting, danny's a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothMoth/pseuds/GothMoth
Summary: Ghosts have sports, apparently. One where Danny actually has an advantage, apparently.
Series: Phantom Phang Phucking Phreaking Phantastical Phabulous Phic Phight Phics 1.0 (The 2019 Edition Revamped) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994581
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	1. A Sporting Invite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [speedyowl152](https://archiveofourown.org/users/speedyowl152/gifts).



> Previously: 13, 989k

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It arrives suddenly

“Ugh, I hate dodgeball!”, Danny groans as he walks out of the boy's locker room, all the while rubbing what will surely be a few new bruises to be added to his extensive collection, “Dash always thrashes me with the hardest balls he can find!”. 

Tucker chuckles, “what can I say, you're his fav. Who knows, maybe he wants to thrash you in other ways”, then rapidly raises and lowers his eyebrows in an exaggerated fashion. 

“Dude, pass”, Danny gives a full-body shiver purely for effect, “what’s worse is that last ball landed square on my rib that had just _finally_ mended itself back together”.

(Off to the side, some nameless Asian student mutters, “what the fuck...??”.)

Sam sighs, “Danny, for the love of everything, please tell me you’re talking about food, not your _actual_ ribs”, as she comes up from behind, joining the two boys. 

“oH yEs SaM, i ToTaLy PaCkEd SpArE rIbS iNtO mY sHiRt FoR eXtRa PaDdInG”, Danny smacks both his hands over his ribs making a loud slap sound; followed by a slightly concerning crack sound, making Danny blink, “shit, okay, that was dumb”, poking his chest, “yup, look, alrighty then. Definitely broken... again”, he groans and tilts his head backwards exaggeratedly.

Sam sighs yet again, “oh for Plasmius sake Danny”. Tucker attempts at a joke, “heh heh well, this time your joke broke you”, but fails miserably, earning deadpan stares from his only friends. Making the boy sigh, “oh come on”, quietly. 

Danny looks straight at Tucker, “well I sure could use some _actual_ spare ribs right now”. 

“Great idea -“, Tucker starts but is cut off by Sam as she slaps the back of her hand into Tucker's chest. “Dear Ancients no, we are not replacing Danny’s rib with one from a poor defenceless lamb”. 

Danny, looking to Sam, “well it would be already dead, so I think I could get more use out of it than the dead lamb could”, Danny then makes a mock pained expression and pretends to fall to the ground and sprawls out in mock pain, “I mEaN lOoK aT mE! i’M pOoR! i’M bRoKeN! i’M-“. Sam leans down and slaps a hand over his mouth, “if you say defenceless, I will steal the Plasmius Maximus and make it so that you ARE defenceless”, straightening up Sam walks off, chuckling lightly all the while. 

Tucker shouts, “but I am still getting a plate of spare ribs right!?”, as he follows her, leaving Danny to slowly heave himself up off the floor. 

(Meanwhile, one Asian boy -who has still failed to leave the damn gym- simply looks on with a mix of mild horror and confusion, “no seriously, what the fuck”)

* * *

Tucker lightly pats his now full stomach as Sam shakes her head in disgust. When, out of nowhere, Danny whacks Tucker’s stomach in a pretend show of mockingly using his full strength, nearly making Tucker vomit. “And that’s for ignoring my suffering and pain”, Danny chuckles as he begins to sit back down in their booth after having dumped out their trash. 

Hack, “dude-”, hack, “-screw you. Must my-”, hack, “-poor ribs suffer too?”.

Sam glares while Tucker's trying to recover from his coughing fit, “your ribs deserve all the suffering that lamb felt”.

“I wouldn’t call safe and comfy in my tummy suffering”, Tucker promptly belches with clear satisfaction. 

Then out of nowhere -literally it came through a damn ghost portal- an ectoball comes flying smack dab into Danny’s face; exploding into a gooey mess. “Whpfwh?! Hghsonlevshrshngmmphddgallowph?!?!!!”, comes Danny's ‘eloquent’ muffled cry. 

Tucker snickers, “care to try that again buddy”, while Danny aggressively wipes off the ectoplasm and then shakes his hands dry. 

“I said”, Danny puts his hands up to do some very mocking exaggerated air-quoting, “Wtf the fuck why?! Does the Ghost Zone love thrashing me at dodgeball now too?!?!!!”. 

Suddenly (some would wonder why sudden things keep happening suddenly, but this is just Danny half-life) a pale ginger boy’s hands slam down onto the table, speaking with squinted eyes, “I fucking hope so... I fucking hope so”, he then walks away backwards while glaring. 

Sam sigh, “it probably says a lot that we didn’t even flinch from that”. Danny chuckling, “our fight or flight response is buried so deep not even Pariah could summon up its skeleton”. 

Suddenly, Danny’s ghost sense goes off as Skulker slips through the portal, resulting in all the people excluding the trio just fleeing. “Does his name really mean so little to you, ghost child!”. Danny just rolls his eyes, slides limply under the table and then dashes out the bottom as Phantom. “Oh relax whelp, I’m just here to invite you to our Death Phazers tournament. So I can thrash you publicly”. Skulker dismissively waves at Danny’s fighting stance. Prompting Danny to straighten out, cross his arms and cock his head. 

Sam raises an eyebrow, “excuse me, no wait don’t excuse me cause you’re a dick”, Sam shakes her head as Skulker just sighs. Sam continuing, “but since when were there even tournaments for ghosts?”. Danny butts in, “better yet, why do you want to do the ‘thrashing’ at some game rather than here and now”, Danny chuckles as he shakes his head, “you goin’ soft on me, Skulkie” . 

Skulker groans and holds the bridge of his nose as he responds, “don’t get your hopes up, I wouldn’t dream of it, whelp. You _will be mine_ ”.

Sam rolls her eyes, “so...”.

“Oh for the love of —“, shaking his head Skulker whips out a paper invite and continues, “be there, get pummelled”. Skulker blasts off straight through the ceiling but Danny just straight up jumps sideways through the window, not even bothering with intangibility and thus shattering it to pieces as he whips out his thermos; successfully capturing the hunter. “Oh come on”, is faintly heard from the confines of the soup container. 

Tucker just stares disappointedly at Danny who has landed gracelessly on the ground not even bothering to float, “dude, do you just, like, get off on making sure there’s always some property damage during all ghost encounters or something?”.

Danny chuckles, “Kinkshamer no kink-shaming”, as he stands and cracks his back. Hopping through the broken window while simultaneously changing forms, he lands squarely back in his seat. Sam sighs exasperatedly, “okay, a Dora the Explorer reference is painful even for you”. 

The response of, “hey now, they’re making a live-action of that shit so it’s topical”, is Danny’s best attempt at making himself not look any lamer. Grabbing the invite, he shakes it off with a quick flick of his wrist. Opening it up he reads it out loud, cause it’s not like anyone is around to hear this bullshit. Excluding the people he _wants_ to hear this bullshit. 

_“Phang Phucking Phantom, aka whelp, dipstick, ghost child, punk, and other insulting but less frequently used names._

_Your halfa ass is invited to play some sweet rounds in the Death Phazers tournament._

_This invite says some rounds because your half-life will be pounded out of you brutally and without mercy”._

Sam wheezes, “oh, my Ancients! Does it seriously say that!”, as she grabs the invite away. Waving his hand around Danny shrugs, “I was paraphrasing”. 

Tucker, asking a rather reasonable question, “does it even say what Death Phazers is?”, with a raised eyebrow. Sam glares at Danny, “yes it damn well does, if Danny had bothered to read that part out”. Danny simply shrugs, “I’m gonna go to this shit regardless of what it is”. 

Tucker chuckles, “dude, I think you’ve officially murdered any remaining remnants of your self-preservation”. 

“Tuck pal, I brutally _eviscerated_ that long ago”, Danny emphasises the word ‘eviscerated’ for added effect. 

“Ignoring your questionable state of mind, I’m frankly shocked ghosts have _any_ kind of sports. Even more so that this sport is explicitly non-contact”. 

Tucker just stares at Sam, “Ancients really? They invited Mr-I-Hate-All-Sports-McGee over here to play... _sports_?”. Danny leans back and chuckles, “guess they figure they’re more likely to beat my ass when there are rules in play”. Tucker points at Danny, “which your hero syndrome ass won’t break of course”, then giving a shake of his head, “dude, you’d think with superpowers you bend the rules a bit more”. 

Sam points at Tucker, “who’s to say there _are_ rules, Tucker? It’s ghost sports”. 

Danny quirks an eyebrow, “uh, Sam, I’m pretty sure you can’t have non-contact sports without rules. Otherwise, it would instantly become all contact, all the time”, flicking the corner of the invite, which is still in Sams left hand, “especially with ghosts involved”. 

Tucker's second phone goes off loudly, playing Spooky Scary Skeletons. It takes him a hot minute to actually find the phone, “well shit guys, it be late and the rents be a callin’”. 

Danny sighs, “I wonder why any of our parents even bother at this point. It’s a straight miracle when we actually make it home remotely near on time”, shoving his hands in his pockets as he gets up, “whelp I guess I’ll see you at my house later for-”, shaking his head, “-of all things, sports”. Danny flicks he’s toes off the ground shooting himself straight up and phasing through the roof. 

Sighing as she turns to head out the doors, Sam mutters, “at least he didn’t break that too”. 

(Meanwhile, one Asian boy sticks his head out of the bathroom and takes in the glass-covered Nasty Burger with a suspicious puddle of ectoplasm on the floor, “wha-what the fuck...”)


	2. From A Lab To A Colosseum, Talk About A Settings Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !EXPOSITION!

“Well now, I guess this hunk of my dad’s junk is all set for ghostly adventures”, Danny gives their ride a solid smack. Speaking up again when Tucker -who’s supposed to be repairing the thing- fails to respond, “Tuck?”.

”Tuck!”.

”TUCK YOU SALTED FUCK!”. 

Tucker bangs his head on the underside of the Specter Speeder, “dude, yeah shit’s ready to rumble”, rubbing the back of his head as he mutters, “I’ll show you salted”. 

Sam and Danny join him in the Speeder after Danny opens the portal. “The positive of this is I don’t have to hold back”, Danny chuckles as he waves around his invite while Sam sits into the driver's seat. 

Sam rolls her eyes, “yeah kinda hard for you to straight murder a ghost with your pure teenage boy strength”.

“EcUsE yOu! I aM ThE dEfInItIoN oF sTrEnGtH!”, Danny shouts while flinging his arms around in the air, walking quickly in a little circle. He stops suddenly, completely still and just deadpans, “though really, if I genuinely threw a dodgeball Dash would lose his head, _literally_ ”. 

Tucker waves at him dismissively from the shotgun seat, “yeah yeah man, we know. Freaky powerful half-ghost man, that’s what you are”. Danny mutters indescribable things as he slaps his chin onto the dashboard with his legs still standing upright. Sam intentionally guns it so that he flies backwards, crashing into the back wall. Danny groans faintly, “why, oh why, must love hurt”, as he rolls over on the floor. Hooray for more bruises!

A bit later Sam has to ask, “hey Danny, where are the directions?”.

“Heh you’ll have to make up and kiss me for ‘em’”, Danny chuckles as he quickly stuffs the invite into his mouth before either of them notice. 

Sam smirks to herself, “hey Tucke-“.

“No”.

“Tucker”.

“No!”.

“But-”.

“He’s your freaking love bird for Plasmius sake”.

“And who’s the one driving?”.

“You know I can!”.

“Only if you can wrestle the controls from me”, Sam smirks as she knows she’s won, she doesn’t notice Danny also smirking. 

“The things I do...”, Tuck grumbles to himself with a sigh as he gets up and walks over to stare down at Danny; still sprawled out on the floor with a shit-eating grin. Danny wiggles his eyebrows up and down. Tucker sighs again, shrugs and applies some lip balm because might as well. But what Danny doesn’t know... Tucker makes quick work of the kiss, promptly finding and giving an unpleasant surprise. 

“Dude! Salt limp balm?”, ack, “who even makes that? And why do you have that?”, Danny cries as he wipes his lips off. Tucker gags and hacks out the wadded up invite dripping with saliva, “I’m the one who should be yelling dude! What? And why? Why was this even in your mouth? That’s like the _worst_ place to store anything!”. 

“Unless there’s kissing involved”, Danny finger guns at Tucker as he sits up. Tucker just glares at him, “yeah well, salted limp balm is good for eye stabbing, burns _real good_ ”, Tucker tries to sound threatening but that’s lost on Danny. Tucker sits back in his place as Danny walks up placing one hand on each headrest. Tucker shakes out the slimy invitation and folds it out. Sam takes one look at it and just shakes her head as she steers the Speeder in the right direction. 

The rest of the trip is mostly silent if you exclude the sounds of Danny physically slamming himself into different Speeder walls out of sheer boredom. Eventually, they arrive at the, frankly, absurd over the top colosseum. Sam shakes her head, “wow Danny this place is almost more over the top than your need for constant unending action”. 

“What can I say? The portal gave me a solid dose of adrenaline addiction with a side of pain”. 

Sam chuckles, “well Mr.Junkie, you should have OD’d two weeks after your portal induced first dose”. 

“WeLl ExCuSe Me FoR sAvInG yOuR lIfE”, Danny drags out his words while slowly moving his head past Sam’s head. Who smirks, “eh, rather die by ghost than the heat death of the universe”, and shrugs. 

Sighing as he goes to step out of the Speeder Danny can’t help but agree, “don’t we all, don’t we all...”. 

Approaching the massive doors Tucker goes to push it open but just fails miserably, he doesn’t stop trying though. “For Plasmius sake”, Sam whips the balled up invite at the wall causing the doors to open and Tucker to fall on his face. Tucker groans, “and why couldn’t you mention the invite worked as a key earlier?”, as he stands. Sam chuckles at him with a slightly mean smirk, “your pain brings me joy”. 

“I find it quite _delicious_ myself”.

The trio snaps their heads up to the voice of Spectra, seeing her rubbing her right hand's fingers up the side of her face while smiling. 

Danny smirks in self-depreciation, “let me guess, the tournament is going to just be a clusterfuck of my enemies wanting to maim me?”, as he floats lightly off the ground. 

Skulker cackles, “you wouldn’t be wrong about that, whelp”, as he steps out next to Spectra. The two step to the side and spread their arms out egging the trio to enter, “welcome, whelp, to the Grand Master Game Room”. 

Danny snorts, “real creative name there,” while the trio steps inside to the view of eight large square arenas each surrounded by large walls; positioned in a circle around a larger circular arena that’s akin to a tennis court but round. With rows and rows of seats surrounding the eight squares and center circle, in a large ring slowly ascending to create the colosseum aesthetic. Each of the eight areas is split into four smaller squares by glowing ectoplasmic grids as tall as the walls; while the centre arena only has two opposing sections. 

Sam speaks somewhat in awe, “alright, I have no clue what sport this is supposed to be”. 

Desiree mutters from down by one of the arenas, “why would we ever suffer the indignity of playing a human sport?”. 

“Eh can’t really object there”, Danny shrugs. Tucker teasingly jabs at Danny, “still being a piss baby about your ribs?”. Skulker interjects, “if the ghost child lost a rib I’ll gladly take it”, a little too hopefully. 

Danny finger guns at Skulker, “how ‘bout no”, as Skulker visibly deflates. Sam turns to Spectra, “so anyway, what exactly is this shit. What qualifies as a non-contact sport to your ghostly asses?”.

“BEWARE MY BOXY EXPLANATIONS!”, is heard as The Box Ghost is literally flung at the trio by Ember. Danny catches his face in his right hand. Danny letting go of The Box Ghosts face, “boxy, buddy, you don’t look like the physical activity type”. 

Skulker groans, “we’re ghosts, who cares”. Besides, the whelp wasn’t the only one who liked to give that fool a good thrashing. 

“I CAME WITH EXPLANATIONS SO MY EXPLANATION YOU WILL SUFFER, BEWARE!”. 

Sam groans herself, “he’s doing the explanation just so we can suffer”, with arms crossed, much to the amusement of both Skulker and Spectra. 

“FOUR PLAYERS COMPLETE PER ARENA, EACH TAKING THEIR OWN PLACE IN THEIR OWN MARKED SQUARE. PLAYERS CAN’T LEAVE THEIR OWN SQUARE”.

“Yeah, that sounds pretty non-contact to me”, Sam shrugs. The Box Ghost continues completely ignoring her, “EVERY PLAYER CREATES ECTOBALLS, THROUGH THE DEATH PHAZER CHEST PLATE AND BLASTS THEM OFF AROUND THE FOUR SQUARE ARENA. EACH PLAYERS ECTOBALLS HAVE THEIR OWN COLOUR! USING THE DEATH PHAZER GLOVES EACH PLAYER CREATES AN ECTONET AND USES THE NET TO TRY AND CATCH ANY ECTOBALLS THAT COME THEIR WAY!”. The Box Ghost looks pretty pleased with himself even as Sam interrupts again, “so I’m guessing you gain points by catching the balls”. Tucker cuts in chuckling, “why are all sports about playing with balls”. Sam immediately slugs him in the shoulder for that, muttering, “you disgust me”.

“BEWARE YOUR INCORRECT ASSUMPTIONS! FOR THE AIM OF THIS GAME IS TO DESTROY OTHER PLAYERS NETS!”. 

Danny grins, “ahh sweet sweet destruction, my adrenaline junkie senses are tingling”. Skulker just sighs and mutters, “why are you like this”, into his hand. As Desiree floats up and hands Danny his chest plate and gloves; both of which are green. As Danny is strapping the chest plate on he begrudgingly asks, “so boxy, why do we need chest shit to make these ectoballs? And how do I wreck these fools nets?”. 

The Box Ghost mutters to himself, “I’m actually being paid attention to”, while Skulker mutters about being called a fool. Then The Box Ghost continues, “THESE ECTOBALLS ARE NO NORMAL ECTOBALLS, THEY’RE CREATED BY THE CHEST PIECE AND WILL HAVE A STRENGTH LEVEL ASSIGNED TO THEM BASED ON THE PLAYERS LEVEL OF SUFFERING IN THEIR EXISTENCE! THE MORE SUFFERING THEY’VE ENDURED THE STRONGER THE ECTOBALL”. 

Grinning, Sam chuckles darkly, “hooray for suffering”. Danny jokingly scolds, “hey now, for once my life of suffering is giving me a leg up”. 

“THE GLOVES CREATE YOUR NET AND ITS STRENGTH IS BASED ON YOUR LEVEL OF DETERMINATION!”. 

Tucker snickers, “hey look at that Danny, hero complex for the win”, as he jabs Danny in the arm. Danny flicks a bunch of snow at him in retaliation then goes to put on the gloves. 

“IF AN ECTOBALL IS STRONGER THAN A PLAYERS NET THEN IT WILL BE HARDER TO CATCH AND HARDER TOO FLING. AS THE STRONGER AN ECTOBALL IS COMPARED TO THE PLAYERS NET THE HEAVIER IT WILL FEEL". Danny actually physically pauses at that, “wait, fling? We’re throwing stuff with the nets as well as catching, or something?”. 

“EXACTLY! CATCH THE ECTOBALLS AND THEN FLING THEM AT OTHER PLAYERS. YOU CAN CATCH MULTIPLE ECTOBALLS IN YOUR NET AT A TIME BUT THEIR STRENGTH WILL COMPOUND! IF AN ECTOBALL OR BUNCH OF ECTOBALLS IS DRASTICALLY STRONGER THAN THE PLAYERS NET, THE NET AND ECTOBALLS WILL BE DESTROYED!". Skulker jumps in, “covering them in ectoplasm and _pain_!”, his words filled with glee. Danny rolls his eyes as Skulker smiles deviously, “pain, of course. Can’t have sports without pain.”. 

“THE NET WILL ALSO BE DESTROYED IF YOU FAIL TO HOLD ON TO BOTH ENDS OF THE NET, ONE IN EACH HAND!”. 

“So I’m guessing you don’t want to just hold onto balls”, Tucker groans, “well there goes a sneaky game plan”. Danny sighs, “Tuck, there never _was_ a game plan”.

“THAT'S NOT ALL!-“. Sam interrupting, “of course it’s not”, with a sigh. Skulker rather scoldingly points out, “if that was all then freakishly determined ghosts would have too great an advantage, child”. Danny tilts his head to the side and speaks humorously, “wow, is this Skulker, _THEE Skulker_ , actually caring about fairness?”. Earning nothing but a glare from Skulker. 

The Box Ghost starts back up, “as I was saying. THE SECOND AN ECTOBALL TOUCHES YOUR NET YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FEEL THE PAIN OF THAT GHOSTS DEATH!”. Danny raises his eyebrows, “wow that’s surprisingly fucked up, I’m not sure what I expected though”, Danny’s mildly impressed honestly, though Sam looks rather concerned. “EACH PLAYER IS LIMITED TO THREE NETS BUT HAS UNLIMITED ECTOBALLS! HOWEVER! ECTOBALLS HAVE A THREE SECOND CHARGE-UP TIME BEFORE THEY CAN BE BLASTED AND YOU CAN’T CHARGE THEM UP WHILE MOVING!”. Tucker, still trying to come up with sneaky plans, “couldn’t you just dodge balls rather than catch balls?”. 

Skulker laughs, “ha! As if it would be that simple!”. Danny gives a trademarked sarcastic Phantom quip, “but I thought you weren’t smart enough for anything that wasn’t simple?”, earning another glare. “I will end you, ghost child”. 

“Good luck with that”, the trio say in unison.

The Box Ghost promptly catches them off guard, “FAILING TO CATCH A ECTOBALL WILL RESULT IN ELECTROCUTION!”. 

“Plasmius fuck”, Danny breathes. Sam slightly pales, growing even more concerned, “isn’t that, like, overboard?”. 

Danny shakes his head, “Sam, overboard is practically ghostly motto”, and jabs his thumb backwards pointing at Spectra, “I mean look at miss dominos over there”. Tucker interjects before Spectra can move to mutilate Danny, “so how the heck are you supposed to win this?”. 

The Box Ghost looks down at the ground, “this is the best moment of my life”, looking back up, “JUST BE THE LAST GHOST STANDING! ONCE A PLAYERS THIRD NET IS DESTROYED THEY ARE ELIMINATED FROM THE GAME!”. 

“Well that’s straight forward”, Danny looks out at the nine different arenas, “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that there will be eight groups of four competing and the winner of each group will move on”. Sam continues the guess, “meaning thirty-two players who then become eight. And then two, whom I’m guessing fight it out in the centre ring or something?”. 

“PRECISELY!”. 

Skulker immediately gloats, “but you will never make it that far, whelp!”. Danny just smirks, “oh I don’t know Skulker. I pretty much define suffering”.

As Spectra and Skulker walk away to set up their own gear -Skulker in red and Spectra in purple- she mutters, feeling slightly less confident, “Hmmm, he isn’t wrong and while normally I’d eat that up. This might give the child some edge”. 

“Well no matter! The ghost child has no experience and we have a plan”, Skulker then grins rather viciously. 

Meanwhile with the trio (who are now ignoring the Box Ghosts screams of “BEWARE!”). Sam sighs pointedly at Danny, “you know they’re definitely going to gang up on you”. Danny goes unnaturally wide-eyed, “YoU dOn’T sAy, SaM? gEe I wOuLd HaVe NeVeR gUeSsEd? A rOoM fUlL oF mY eNeMiEs AnD tHeY wAnT tO gAnG uP oN mE? tHe ShAmE!”, leaving his mouth open in a truly manic smile. As Tucker is doubled over in laughter, “Nicholas Cage much?!”. Danny snaps his head over to Tucker and screeches, “NOT THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”. 

“Oh no”, Sam knee jerk responds and then facepalms at the unintentional reference. “Eyyyyyy”, Tuck grins while doing finger guns. 

The trio, Box Ghost in tow, descend down to the entrance to the arenas. Even The Box Ghost doesn’t notice the Asian boy staring agape from around a pillar, “okay? what the fuck, and how the fuck did I even get here?!”. 

Danny gives himself one final pat down, “no hidden ecto-weapons that I always somehow manage to forget I had on me? Check. Death Phazer stuff on? Check. Questionable lack of self-preservation and basic common sense? Check”. Shaking his head Tucker gives Danny a smack on the shoulder, “me and Sam will be in the stands, duh”. 

“Dude, if they let you and Sam compete, I would literally shit out ramen noddles and worms right here and now”. 

“And that’s our que to leave”, Sam states as she just nopes right out of that conversation. Speaking to Tucker, as she drags him up a few steps, “let’s just not give the ghosts a chance to take him up on that offer”. 

“Do you think a video of that would go viral?”. 

Sam sighs exhaustedly, “oh sweet Plasmius, Tucker”.

Skulker smirks at Danny, “so whelp, I hope you’d see this coming but we’re in the same arena”. 

Danny chuckles sarcastically, “CoLoUr Me SuRpRiSeD!”, while sharply tilting his head at a ninety-degree angle. Aragon speaks with an air of command as he approaches, “Arena three it is for the lot of us”, though he’s largely ignored. Kitty sighs, “I’ll be there also”, while looking like she couldn’t even be paid to care. Danny proceeds to wonder out loud, “so... I’m guessing this is all just for shits and giggles, to get that sweet sweet ectoplasm following. With a side of pain, obviously”.

“I’m starting to think you like being pounded, whelp”. Skulker eyes him cautiously but Danny’s mind goes to dirty places, “don’t you know, Skulker? I’m the king of poundtown”, finishing off the crappy sarcastic joke with a smirk. Kitty -who has been absentmindedly filling her nails- stops and chokes on her own saliva, eyes wide. Aragon starts up, “since when were you a king?!”. Skulker, more used to Danny’s shit than any other, only sighs in defeat. All the while Danny bends over laughing. 

In Danny’s laughter, he notices that the stands are filling up pretty nicely with people, ecto people but still people. “You’d think for something so popular I would have heard of it before”. 

“They’re here for your pain and to witness your crushing defeat, ghost child”. 

“Wow, my pain is like the Kim Kardashian of the Ghost Zone. Fourteen seasons strong I bet”, pausing he puts a finger to his lips, “maybe there’s reality television in my future”. 

Kitty blows a bubblegum bubble, popping it loudly before speaking, “not gonna lie, I’d watch that”.

Aragon dismisses her, “of course you would, utter heathens like you and the man with the loud machine take joy in mindless pursuits”, resulting in Kitty flat out punching him. Aragon, unused to such disobedience doesn’t see it coming. Meanwhile, from Danny, “Oh My GoD!”, Danny does a little sassy hand wave, “I am not mindless you half baked tit”. 

“Watching a teenager get brutally beaten down, violently assaulted, and threatened by his parents daily. All the while dealing with massive levels of utter constant crisis; sounds like a fun time to me”. 

Danny whips around to face the source of the new voice, “ _of course_ you’d watch that, you already do. On a side note, since when did you get here?”.

“Actually yeah, what _is_ he doing here?” Kitty spits laced with venom. Skulker grumbles to the side, “well I certainly didn’t invite him”. Vlad puts a hand to his chest and speaks dryly, “now Skulker, I’m deeply wounded”. 

Danny looks around, “uh, did y’all miss the whole, he would watch because he already does, bit?”, Danny quirks an eyebrow, “he’s here ‘cause he saw the invite or overheard the conversation through a Vladcam”. Aragon rolls his eyes slightly, “I’m pretty sure the heathens thought you were making one of those ‘quip’ things”. Kitty raises her eyebrows, “wait, you were _actually_ serious about that?”, at Danny’s shrug and nod she looks disgusted, “and I thought he couldn’t get any creepier”. 

“I’m pretty sure his creep factor knows no bounds”. 

“You know Daniel, you really shouldn’t spout your slander where the offending person can actually hear you... or hit you”, and with a flick of his wrist Vlad shoots an ectoblast at Danny, or tries to anyway. Prompting Kitty to look pretty damn smug about Vlad's confused facial expression, “can’t do that here, old man”. And like a bat out of Hell summoned by attempted rule-breaking, Walker steps in front of Vlad, “it’s the rules, now I suggest you either get gone or take a seat. Last I checked you ain’t on the battle roster”. Vlad just glares at him like a defeated child and stomps off, shoulders around his ears. Muttering about how the rules shouldn’t apply to him. He sits down in one of the highest rows of seats, and does the most overacted show of not caring about anything that’s going on, that Danny has ever seen. Sitting there cross-legged inspecting his claws with his head turned away.

Danny chuckles, “I’m honoured to know the only halfa you wanna bring to the ball game is me”. Kitty shakes her head, “that was weak Phantom, at least most your jokes make sense. What even was that”. Danny just stares at her and starts enthusiastically singing Take Me Out To The Ball Game. Instantly making Aragon start fuming, “would you stop with that inane prattle!”. While Skulker mutters about how Danny is a literal child. Aragon throws his hands up and stalks off to arena three and sits grumpily on the ground. Danny chuckles, “wow, seems like Dora has humbled him a bit”. Skulker sighs, “I wouldn’t know, I care about prey, whelp. And none in Dora’s kingdom are worthy targets”. 

“So I’m more valuable than kings and queens. I’m just tickled pink”, Danny pauses and chuckles to himself, “or I guess green”. Skulker, sighing, “yes, ghost child, yes. I hope your quips in-game are better than this”, Skulker walks over to arena as well. Kitty does a two-finger wave as she spins on her heels heading over to the arena. Danny just shrugs, turns to his friends and does a double thumbs-up as he floats backwards to the arena himself.

Up in the stands, Sam shakes her head seeing Skulker’s disappointed face and Danny’s ‘I-can’t-take-anything-seriously-for-the-life-of-me’ goofy smile, “I swear he’s trying to make them hate him”. Tucker doesn’t even bother looking up from his PDA, “naw, they love it. Did you see how they reacted to Vlad?”, chuckling, “oh, I bet Danny loved that! I guess even the ghosts can tell Vlad is a slime ball”. 

“Indeed, it takes no more than five minutes to discover that fact”, comes from a lady hailing from Dora’s kingdom. Tucker whips his head around and strikes a pose, putting on a sultry voice, “well hello there M’lady”, his sudden voice crack doesn’t help him though as the lady just giggles. Sam shakes her head but upon noticing that shit’s finally going down, she whacks Tucker, “pay attention you womanizing half-wit”. 

“Hey now, the one who’s half anything is Danny”. 

“You’re a half-wit, Danny’s just... special”. 

“Oh yeah? And I guess you’d know all about unique and special”. 

“You damn well know it”. 

In a rare moment of seriousness from Tucker, “that better not be the only reason you like my best friend though”, playing with some gaming system distractedly with one hand. Sam’s slightly shocked by the accusation, “I’m not shallow like that witch you always fawn over”.

“So even if he de-ghosted himself over some totally out of character desire for normalcy and maybe some meteor shit-“. Sam cuts him off, “that would be absurd Tucker, now let's get back to the actual point of this shit instead of your weird fever dreams”. Tucker just shrugs as the two look to the nine arenas, focusing on what appears to be the third one. Skulker is in the left inside square, grinning evilly while adjusting his gloves. Aragon, still sitting on the ground with a facial expression that screams ‘I’m-above-this-shit’, is in the right inside square. Kitty is waving at the stands from the right outside square, soaking up the limelight, as she spits out her gum at the wall. Danny appears to be playing... hopscotch? in the left outside square; with his back to Sam and Tucker. Tucker chuckles, “wow, I think if he tried any harder to look like he doesn’t care he’d hurt himself”. 

Danny, being the dumbass he is, winds up tripping over his own feet. But this time he remembers he can float. So instead of falling on his ass he just sorta does this floaty air backflip thing. Skulker just stares at him and sighs. Kitty giggles with a hand over her mouth, “wow, slick moves there Danny”, amusement twinkling in her eyes. 

“I’m the smoothest and you know it”. 

Skulker jeers, “yeah, last I checked you only had one chest hair, very smooth”. Danny’s rebuttal is cut off before he can even start -thankfully, ‘cause really these two could go on forever- by the three-minute warning horn. A horn which sounded oddly like a horse being slapped mid neigh; Danny can’t help but chuckle at this. 

“Well whelp, looks like it’s game time. You gonna die, figuratively of course”.

“So I’ll only half lose then since you can only half kill me”, Danny shrugs as he then settles into a fighting stance. Legs bent, right foot positioned behind himself; lifting both hands up as he flicks his wrists creating his net. Holding the two ends of it, one in each hand, he checks out the grid-like one-foot wide band. Skulker sneers, “die whelp”, as he to flicks out his own net; Aragon stands up to follow suit. Though he still looks uncaring. Danny grins menacingly right back, “gladly”, which earns a very confused but also concerned look from both Skulker and Kitty. As everyone charges up their chest plates. Kitty muttering, “you've got problems kid”, as she swings around her net; which expands as gravity grabs at the centre of it. 

All three full ghosts are clearly facing Danny, which is clearly expected by literally everyone as no one seems even slightly confused or surprised. Danny himself just smirks and says, “well I guess this is how the cookie crumbles”, then shouting wrestling announcer style, “SO LET’S GET READY TO CRUMBLE!”, as the starting horn goes off, which just sounds like an angrier version of the previous horn. 


	3. Pain Sensors? Loaded. Game? Starting.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skulker is done with this shit, Aragon’s a sexist, and Kitty is amused

Danny just barely manages to get off his first ectoball before two from Skulker, one from Kitty and one from Aragon all come be-lining for him at once. Stopping momentarily to mocking look to an imaginary camera; he shrugs with his shoulders and arms while pulling a face, as all four ectoballs crash into his side full force. Meanwhile, his own ectoball just narrowly misses capture by Skulker. While Skulker gets a quick zap, Danny goes flying into the back wall shoulder first and he doesn’t even make an attempt to soften the impact; he is also promptly electrocuted fourfold. 

Sam just sighs and rubs her face while Tucker seems slightly shocked. 

Danny, picking himself up quickly, “well that was quite the _shocking_ turn of events”, as another two more come his way; one red and one blue. Fully expecting this and not wasting time trying to charge up an ectoball of his own, he jumps to the side and flings out his net managing to snare Skulker’s but getting quickly electrocuted again for missing Aragon’s. “Well slap me and call me cake, I actually caught one”. 

Up in the stands, multiple people uncertainly and questioningly call him, “cake?”. 

Danny grins as he gets smacked in the face by another red ectoball, falling on his back and receiving another zap, “well I am utterly delicious”, he giggles quickly before flinging himself back up onto his feet and launching up in the air to catch two blue ectoballs. Skulker grunts, “more like delirious, you aren’t meant to be enjoying this”, as he shoots out two more ectoballs in rapid succession. Danny somersaulting forwards while floating in the air, he uses the momentum of his spin to fling both blue ectoballs right back to sender, “sorry I can’t afford return stamps!”. 

Aragon shouts, “what does that even mean you fool!”, as he just barely catches his own ectoballs. Danny shoots out towards the far left corner just narrowly catching the red ectoballs and snaps his hands apart causing the tension in the net to spring both also at Aragon, who was not so lucky this time due to it taking him a while to fling his own two ectoballs from his net at Kitty. 

In that time Kitty manages to shoot out two more ectoballs but this time aimed at Skulker. Skulker, not being so naive as to assume everyone would go after Danny full time, expected some his way but not quite so early on; thus catching him off guard. One socks him clean in the head and the other just happens to hit into his net. While Kitty swipes her net behind the blue ectoballs and swings her net around effectively redirecting the ectoballs at Danny. Skulker, seeking revenge, shoots out an ectoball in Kitty’s direction. Aragon sees a chance to maybe take out one of her nets and manages to get out two shoots at her himself. Danny takes what will likely be an uncommon reprieve, to charge up another ectoball of his own but aiming for Aragon rather than Kitty. 

Kitty manages to catch all of them but falls to the ground in the process, unfortunately for her the combined suffering levels of the ectoballs is too great and her net is destroyed almost instantly. Covering her in ectoplasm. Aragon sneers, “ha! The only time losing my kingdom has ever done me any favours!”, but his gloating is swiftly cut off as both a green and a red ectoball go straight into his net with so much force that it yanks his arm so hard that he goes flying into the wall. While both Kitty and Aragon get up there’s a slight pause of surprise by everyone at noting that Aragon’s net has also been destroyed, from only two ectoballs. 

Skulker breaks the four-second long pause by firing another ectoball in Danny’s direction, his face wearing a slightly more concerned expression than before. While Danny quips, “suck on those fish sticks! You backwards medieval tit!”, while jumping up and sticking his legs to either side as he swings the net down between his legs catching Skulkers ectoball. Only to be slammed in the side by two blue ones. As he goes sailing to the right he inadvertently flings the red ectoball right back at Skulker. Danny muttering “wow, I’m makin’ so many returns I ought to be a damn mailman”, as he lands backwards on his shoulders and neck, legs going over his head; receiving yet another quick zap. 

Meanwhile, up in the stands, Tucker, snickering, mutters, “Aragon likes fish dicks”. Sam just sighs over the stupid outdated reference. 

Danny carries through with the landing by turning it into a roll, righting himself quick enough to catch a purple ectoball. Spinning the net quickly, he shoots it at Skulker. Catching the purple ectoball himself, Skulker quickly comments, “you catch on fast, I do so love seeing that in fine prey. Makes the hunt that much more fun”. What then proceeds is basically a rapid pace game of pass-the-(ecto)ball, as the purple ectoball is caught and thrown back and forth between the two. 

“I’d think you'd want your pelts minus scorch marks and preferably not looking like overcooked bacon!”. 

Meanwhile, Kitty is ruthlessly going after Aragon, managing to get off many purple shoots at him since it turns out Aragon is pretty goddamn slow, her jeering, “you better step up the pace old man!”. Aragon ducking to avoid another blast and getting immediately zapped, “women ought to be silent, wench!”. This comment draws both Danny’s and Skulker’s attention away from each other, causing the purple blast to lay limp in Danny’s net. The two speaking simultaneously: 

“dragon dick-“

“Oh how dare-“

“women can-“

“Ember’s voice would crush-“

“WELL I THINK YOU SHOULD-“

“YOU ARE BUT A PUNNY-“

“AND VOMIT UP YOUR OWN HAIR!”, Danny’s shout makes Skulker cut off whatever else he was going to shout. As he just turns and looks at Danny, “not that I really object but, what?”. Sam, meanwhile, is laughing her ass off as are plenty other women; especially those from Dora’s kingdom. Even back down in the arena Kitty has fallen on her ass laughing, causing her to accidentally drop her net; destroying it. Her chuckling, “I don’t even care”, as she wipes away some tears from her eyes with both hands just before firing an ectoball straight at Aragon, “Eat ectoplasm, sexist pig”. Danny and Skulker just stare as -a now pissed off- Aragon tries to catch her ectoball. In a rare occasion of cooperation, Danny and Skulker nod to each other and both shoot out ectoballs at Aragon; straight up brutalising his face. 

Aragon doesn’t catch _shit_. 

Skulker wastes no time in going after Danny again, who’s now an easy target since he’s standing right next to Skulker. But Danny’s quick to the draw and promptly swings his net down onto Skulker’s head. But since the ectoball is still inside Danny’s net it doesn’t explode on impact; remaining painfully, for Skulker anyways, solid. Danny uses Skulkers ‘ow-my-god-damn-head’ time to jump back to a safer distance and starts to make another ectoball. 

Meanwhile, Kitty has made a new net and has taken it upon herself to just unload ectoballs at Aragon’s net pulverizing it and destroying it. At the exact moment, his net is utterly destroyed, Danny shoots off his ectoball slamming it into Aragon’s side just as he’s staggering back up. Skulker, now recovered, shoots another ectoball at Danny. Knocking out Danny’s feet but Danny chooses to stay in touch with gravity letting the pull of his face towards the ground launch the purple ectoball he _still_ has in his net straight at Skulker’s face. With his face in the dirt, Danny mutters, “it’s a pretty handy thing that ghosts can’t get concussions”. 

Up in the stands, Vlad rubs his temples and mutters, “yeah well I assure you they can get headaches...”, sighing and angling his head down, hands on his forehead, “all this flashing glowing light is so unnecessary”. A ghostly heavy set woman in front of him snaps her head around and roars, “THEN BY ALL MEANS HAVE A SEIZURE AND DIE”. Making Vlad jerk his head back up as the woman turns back around. Grumbling to himself, “fantastic, now it’s worse”.

Tucker speaks into his right hand which is resting on the armrest, “you know, I’m kinda surprised none of them are reacting much to that, you know, feeling each other’s death thing”. Sam shrugs, “well Danny’s been through some shit, Hell we probably don’t know everything he’s experienced. And the ghosties well, they’ve done this before so nothing new”, though she shivers slightly at all the possibilities of things Danny’s been through without anyone with him. Tucker just looks to her then to Danny in the arena, who has swung to the left just barely staying on his tippy toes, Tucker softly says, “Dan”. 

“Yeah, Dan”. Sam looks out at the arena herself now. Two red, two purple and one blue ectoball all converging on Danny at once, looking a bit like a solid line. Danny kicks off the ground with his left toes bringing his right knee up to his chest, he swings his net over to the left and then swings it down and to the right catching each ectoball. He remains floating in the air though he clearly can feel the weight of all the ectoballs. His body also shivers as it’s racked fivefold by death experiences. Danny, putting both his hands together rapidly swings around the net with five ectoballs inside and then launches them all straight at Skulker. Though being free from the weight causes Danny to stumble forwards in the air, he does manage to stay floating, however. 

Skulker shouts, “okay, I know the whelp has determination in spades but this is just plain ridiculous!”, as he futilely tries to catch all the ectoballs. Managing to only get three out of five and he promptly grunts from the weight and three-fold death pain. 

With Kitty and Aragon both currently wrapped up in each other, Danny shakes himself off then takes the time to charge up and shoot out another of his own ectoballs. Managing to fire it off just as Skulker finally swings off the three ectoballs he actually caught, straight at Aragon. Moving quickly he manages to also catch Danny’s green ectoball and his net instantly vaporises, Skulker crying out, “oh come on!”. 

Aragon, unfortunately for him, manages to catch all three flung by Skulker, as well as one from Kitty. Destroying his net as well. However, he like everyone else is too stunned by Danny’s instant death ectoball to even notice Aragon’s destroyed net. Even Danny is a bit taken aback and the crowd starts making ridiculous, “Ooooo”, and, “ahh”, and, “what the sweet fuck”, sounds. No one in arena three does anything for a while as the three ghosts just stare at Danny. 

Danny eventually breaks the moment by giving an awkward but exaggerated shrug, “like I said, I’m pretty much the definition of suffering”. He then slowly finger guns at Skulker, who snaps his mouth shut and fixes his face into a grumpy expression; as he flicks his wrist making a new net. 

The elimination bell sounding is what stuns Aragon out of his shocked stupor. Causing him to look down into his hands, finally realizing his lack of a net; groaning as the elimination bell re-sounds. Danny mutters, “now see that one, that one sounds like a giggling horse”, as he points to where the sound came from, while Aragon walks out of the arena.

Lives | Kills

Danny: 3 - 2

Skulker: 2 - 3

~~Aragon: 0 - 1~~

Kitty: 1 - 3 

Up in the stands, Sam and Tucker are less surprised and less excited than the rest of the crowd. Sam muttering, “it’s almost depressing seeing Danny’s suffering getting so blatantly confirmed”. Tucker watching the arena as Danny does a barrel roll to catch two red ectoballs and as Kitty tries going after Skulker with hurried vigour, “I could swear Kitty is intentionally avoiding firing at Danny know”, raising an eyebrow he continues, “think she’s trying to avoid getting one of Danny’s apparent insta-death balls?”. 

“Well did you see that shit? Tucker, there is not a chance in Hell Kitty has more determination than Skulker and Danny’s suffering completely crushed that”, shaking her head, “she’s better off avoiding and just taking the electric shock”, she finishes though still feeling slightly numb. Tucker puts an arm on his left armrest and leaning towards Sam, “oh, and you think Aragon would have faired any better?”, shaking his head, “the best, Hell the only, shot they’ve got is to make sure Danny doesn’t have time _to_ fire”. Looking down to the sight of Skulker shooting off as many ectoballs as possible at Danny, while also skillfully catching and flinging the ectoballs from Kitty. “Clearly that’s Skulker’s plan and poor Danny’s getting shocked so much he’d set a Christmas tree on fire”. Sam, rolling her eyes, “don’t give him any ideas on how to defile Christmas”.

Back down in the arena, Danny staggers back up from the ground only to get smashed by two red ectoballs into the wall. Reeling from yet another shock, “you’d think I’mma Hot Dog someone is trying to cook in a new and interesting way at this point”. Quickly catching two purple ectoballs and flinging then at Skulker just before crashing on his left side onto the ground. Only to be slammed in the chest by yet another red ectoball, yelling, “that someone being SKULKER!”. 

Skulker cheers, “me thrashing you! That’s the way it should be whelp!”, grinning madly all the while. As Skulker raises his net above his head to go catch the red ectoballs being flung back at him, a purple one plunks into the net. Offsetting his balance causing him to miss the catch and get shocked. Bending over forwards, the midsection of his net laying limp on the ground purple ectoball inside, Skulker turns to her, speaking very incredulously, “really?”. Kitty just shrugs and swirls her hair in her right-hand pointer finger. 

In this time Danny shoots off another ectoball straight into Skulkers net, the force of which pulls the net in between Skulker's leg’s dragging his arms with it, flipping Skulker head over heels. His net is yet again destroyed. “Wow Skulkie, I was kidding when I thought you were going soft on me but now you’re head over heels for me?”, Danny strikes a mock sexy pose, “what’s next? Love letters”. Skulker cries from the ground, “all you get from me is death threats, whelp”. 

“With you, violence _is_ love”. 

From the crowd, after getting eliminated herself, Ember mutters, “oh can it, dipstick”. 

Back down in the arena, Danny goes into a sick slow-mo weightless mid-air backflip while using his pointer finger to pull down his left eyelid and stick out his tongue. Holding onto each end of his net with his middle and ring fingers as a red ectoball sails over his stomach almost knocking his chin. He flings both his hands over his head, tossing the net out around the ectoball; catching it. Returning to gravity he finishes the flip landing on his feet; swinging his upper body, arms and net from left to right as he catches a purple ectoball. He then finishes his sick move by allowing gravity to fling the net behind him and then springing it forward, flinging both Skulker’s ectoball and Kitty’s ectoball straight at Kitty. Who’s too busy catching a red ectoball to notice the two Danny has flung her way before they crash straight into her head. Skulker decides to take the shot, squares his shoulders and rapid fires at Kitty’s net, hitting four in; which is quickly joined by one green ectoball. 

Net destroyed, Kitty just looks down at where her net was, “well shit”. The elimination airhorn sounds as Kitty walks off, flipping off Skulker over her shoulder. With her left hand -which isn’t preoccupied with insulting Skulker- she digs into her pocket to fetch a fresh piece of gum. 

Lives | Kills

Danny: 3 - 4

Skulker: 1 - 4

~~Aragon: 0 - 1~~

~~Kitty: 0 - 4~~

Squaring himself, Skulker makes a snapping sound with his net. Danny just rolls his eyes and starts making mock scary “boo” noises. While jumping from foot to foot waving his hands next to his head, holding his net ends in his pinkies. 

Up in the stands, Tucker just shakes his head, “Skulker has got to be straight pissed by now”. Sam smirks, “well Danny’s got him twice now and no one has gotten Danny even though Skulker has been bombarding him”. Her eyes follow Danny as he does a cartwheel to the right, catching two new ectoballs from Skuller on the upswing. Going with the pull of the ectoball Danny flips backwards bringing his hands together and landing on his feet. Shooting his hands out forwards and apart, springing the two ectoballs back at Skulker. One of which collides with a new red ectoball. The collision blocks Danny’s sight causing him to get his right foot knocked out by another ectoball. Tucker chuckles, “if Vlad pulled that, Danny’d make some joke about cheese wheels”.

Back down in the arena, instead of getting up, Danny lays still hoping to have a chance to charge up. A red ectoball sails right over his face and earns him a quick zap, which he does stay still through. His stillness is rewarded, as he flings himself up and spins around; he doesn’t fire off right away though. Opting to instead wait for Skulker to shoot at him again, which he does near instantly. Diving to the right Danny flings the net out and over the two ectoballs. Spinning in a circle he releases them back at Skulker, shooting off his own ectoball at the same time. Skulker just decides fuck it and tries to avoid Danny’s shot. However, it impacts his arm hard enough to tear it clean off. Danny stops short, “well isn’t that just the sauce”, as a time-out bell sounds. 

Skulker walks to collect his arm, “you’re just going to have to hold off your doom, child”. Danny tilts his head, “what? you making me your lady in waiting now?”, looking at Skulker’s removed limb, “pretty sure Mr. Robo Hands has an unfair advantage here, since your hand is still freaking holding the net end!”, Danny glares accusingly. After Skulker gets his arm fixed up, he simply smirks, “I always have an unfair advantage over you, whelp”. 

“Then why’s your ass gettin’ baked like a toenail and piss Creme brûlée”. 

Up in the stands, a slightly hidden Asian boy chokes on his spit, “what the fuck? And I still don’t know how the fuck I got here”.

Skulker just stares at him, “your mind defiles your body with sin, ghost child”. As he shoots at Danny again. Danny, far too amused by his own comment, steps forward to go after the ectoball but steps straight on his net, ripping it out of his hands. Looking down at the ground, “oh, well shit”, floating slightly above the ground, arms limp. Skulker facepalms and mutters, “you have got to be kidding me”, then looking at Danny, “you will be the full death of yourself one day”. Only to be promptly smashed by a green ectoball, slamming him into the ground and earning a shock. 

“Been there, done that”, Danny rolls his hand, “inevitability and all that”. Skulker is getting up while looking highly confused just as a green ectoball lazily rolls onto his net. Glaring down at his final destroyed net, muttering, “okay this is just sad”. The game over horn sounds, sounding like an angry sigh. 

Up in the stands, Sam and Tucker share a look, “did he seriously make that reference?”. 

“Yup and that was easily the lamest win I’ve ever seen”. 

Shaking their heads they watch as Danny two-finger salutes Skulker with a mocking grin as he walks off goofily. Skulker goes and sits down with Ember in a huff, Ember is glaring at him with disappointment. 

Lives | Kills

Danny: 2 - 6 — WINNER

~~Skulker: 0 - 4~~

~~Aragon: 0 - 1~~

~~Kitty: 0 - 4~~


	4. The Boxy Fury Is Legit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullying victim bonding and Boxy’s dream comes true for ten seconds

As Danny is toying with his gloves waiting in the waiting zone, to see who his next opposition will be, he hears an all too familiar voice. The Box Ghost exclaiming, “YOUR BATTLE HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN! FOR NOW YOU MUST FACE THE FEARSOME BOX GHOST! BEWARE!”, as both he and Johnny’s shadow come flying up to Danny. Danny, under his breath, “after this I’m going to be relieved of every piece of misplaced aggression I’ve ever held in my half corpse”. Shadow merely grins and bares Its fangs, though the effect is diminished by the red chest piece and gloves. 

Danny claps the Box Ghost on the shoulder, feeling oddly proud, “wow boxy, you, like, really won something”, then making a quizzical face, “...how?”, Danny’s question is completely earnestly and highly confused, eyeing The Box Ghosts blue equipment.

Meanwhile, Tucker and Sam, up in the stands, are still in shock from the utter beat down The Box Ghost dished out in his round. Not too mention realizing that Danny is utterly OP in his suffering. Even Vlad seems rather startled, only by Danny though; he couldn’t give an ounce of even the cheapest of cheesy shits about The Box Ghost. Muttering to himself, “okay, I know the little badger goes through a lot but this seems a little ridiculous”.

Back down to Danny and his ghostly adversaries, The Box Ghost doesn’t even waste time pretending to be offended; he’s used to it. “WHY SHOULD I, THE GREAT BOX GHOST, TELL YOU MY HORRIFYING SECRETS!”. Poindexter walks up, “doesn’t this buster show up in Amity Park like every day? That’s got to be a show of determination”, wearing green gear matching Danny’s. 

Danny tilts his head, “you too? I mean at least I get you. You go through tons of utter bullshit in that nightmare school of a lair”. 

“Buddy, that’s why I enjoy this game thing. The one place where my misery gives me a step-up”, Poindexter shrugs, “not that you would know anything about suffering; bullies, the both of you”, he finishes while shooting a glare up at Vlad in the stands. 

Danny rolls his eyes, “dude, I’ve told you. You’re wrong about that”, noticing PoinDexter’s colours, “and which one of us is getting green because if we’re doing callsies then I call green”. 

“Not from what I’ve seen buster, and you’re not bullying me out of green. You want it, earn it fairly”. 

“For Plasmius sake”, Danny sighs as he tilts his head back exaggeratedly. 

Up in the stands, Vlad is caught off guard hearing his name used as a swear blasted over the speakers. A couple of ghosts within earshot of him chuckle, as he mutters petty nothings under his breath. 

Back down, two ghosts walk to their respective spots in arena six as Poindexter and Danny rock, paper, scissor it out for the green equipment. Up in the stands, Sam and Tucker shake their heads, knowing Danny’s atrocious luck with this particular game of luck. In, what is to them, predictable fashion; Danny loses. Begrudgingly Danny goes to put on the purple gear as Poindexter walks off smugly to the arena. 

Danny, all decked out, heads over to the arena. He retains the same left outer spot he did before, “purple is clearly not my colour, I look like a mouldy flower”. Next to him in the right outer square, Poindexter fidgets with his fingers as his net sparks to life. His confidence with it is just barely platable through his naturally nervous disposition. In the left inside square, The Box Ghost does his damnest to make his net look as square as possible, which is impossible since it’s a rectangle and just gets limp, bending down in the centre, when The Box Ghost tries to reduce its width. Shadow stationed in the right inside square looks Danny up and down, and laughs; clearly agreeing that purple doesn’t suit Danny. Danny sticks his tongue out at Shadow, “oh bleh, go eat someone’s socks”. 

The warning horn sounds though Danny doesn’t even bother taking a fighting stance, this time opting just to smirk at his opponents soon coming shock. He does, however, whip out his net and charge up an ectoball. Lazily bouncing from foot to foot and watching as Poindexter glares at him. The starting horn blares out as all three ghosts predictably turn on Danny. Who instantly shoots out his purple ectoball straight at Shadow’s net. Being utterly unaware of the previous carnage, Shadow confusedly just lets it go straight into his net. 

The Box Ghost shouts, “HOW DID YOU WIN WITH MOVES LIKE THAT!”, as he enthusiastically fires at Danny, thrusting his whole body forwards in the process. Danny goes into a slide on the ground as he swings his net from right to left catching both the green and blue ectoballs. Using his momentum he flings his legs to the left and up, swinging his net over his shoulder as he spins around in the air to face Poindexter as he pelts both straight at him. Shadow shoots off two red ectoballs as It makes a new net. No one other than It noticing the nets destruction. 

Danny lands with one hand and both feet on the ground in a crouch, swivelling his head over to the incoming red ectoballs, holding himself still just long enough to charge up again before snapping his hands out in front of his chest, catching the ectoballs and flying backwards into the back wall. Quickly turning he flings both also at Poindexter and then fires an ectoball as well. Poindexter, knowing himself to not be all the determined opts to go for catching Danny’s one ectoball rather than the two originally from Shadow. Still falsely believing Danny faces little to no suffering, as he smirks and wraps his net around the green ectoball. This time even The Box Ghost notices the instant net destruction. 

Poindexter gives the very judgmental cry of, “oh fiddlesticks?! What kind of possible suffering could a bully possibly go through?”, as he balls his now empty fists up. Danny puts a hand on his hips, “buddy, the government has their own special murder squad just for little ol’ me, my ex literally tortured me and has made it her mission to kill me, I’m the favourite target for _actual_ school bullies, Oh and my parents enthusiastically want to dissect me”, Danny rolls his wrist a bunch while speaking as The Box Ghost just nods, well aware of the crap Danny goes through due to being around the halfa so damn often, “and let’s not get started on all the sweet succulent horse shit my ghostly foes want to do to me”. Ending with a shrug as he floats up into the air, his whole body spinning slightly to the right. 

Up in the stands, Vlad looks dejected, muttering, “he didn’t even acknowledge me”.

Poindexter yells in frustration, “well my suffering is infamous though out school! There is no chance you have the determination to wield such suffering buster!”, as he shoots at Danny, who doesn’t even bother moving, just letting the ectoball slam into his side. The Box Ghost’s blue ectoball slams into Shadow’s head, as Danny over exaggeratedly flops around on the ground. Then he suddenly springs up catching a green ectoball earning a glare from Poindexter. Poindexter shouts some more while floating angrily off the ground, “inconceivable! You must be cheating you bully!”. While Shadow manages to get two ectoballs into The Box Ghost’s net in such a manner that it stretches into a circle. The Box Ghost drops his net in horror, “HOW DARE YOU TAINT MY LOVELY CORNERS WITH CIRCULAR ABOMINATIONS”, clearly more bothered by the roundness than the destroyed net. 

Meanwhile, Danny mockingly jeers “I’ve already said hi to Walker-”, Danny jumps to the side catching a red ectoball and rolling with it, “-thanks to Vlad’s self-important dismissal-”, Danny whips the ecto ball at Poindexter’s face, “-of the rules. He may want my ever so sexy halfa ass in a cell-”.

Up in the stands Tucker coughs into his hand, “kinky”.

“-but he’ll vouch that I ain’t no cheat”, Danny finishes as Poindexter erratically manages to catch the ectoball. Danny is caught off guard by a blue ectoball hitting his left ear, flipping heels over head; landing hard on his right cheek. From the ground noticing Poindexter’s fuming expression, he mutters, “Dex, your blood pressure is going to off you”. 

Poindexter floats over and, as close as he can, point-blank shoots Danny in the face. But then gets promptly slammed by both a blue and a red ecto ball, flying into the back wall; with a second red ectoball ramming his gut. Quickly composing himself, he fires at Shadow with -still pissy at Danny- aggression. Danny chuckles as Shadow is utterly overwhelmed by Poindexter‘s suffering levels, net destroyed. Danny mutters in slight amusement, “Poindexter sure is my brother in suffering ain’t he”. 

Shadow angrily goes after Poindexter in retaliation, growling all the while as It puffs out Its chest and shoots away. Poindexter vainly flails around catching and flinging the ectoballs in random directions as fast as he can. Danny, chuckling, “he looks like a bean pole monkey having a seizure”, as he pulls his legs up to his chin, just barely avoiding a blue ectoball and slinging his net out to catch two red ones. Flinging his net towards the wall he also just barely manages to catch the blue ectoball before it hits the wall. Pulling the net back as hard as he can, he lets it careen past him flinging the three ectoballs at Poindexter. 

At that moment Poindexter winds up with too many ectoballs in his net, destroying it. As Shadow cackles victoriously hands to Its chest as a purple ectoball flys into his net at breakneck speeds. Simultaneously ripping it out of Shadow's hands and destroying it. Shadow looks at Its empty hands and angrily screeches as the elimination horn sounds. 

Lives | Kills

Danny: 3 - 3

Poindexter: 1 - 1

~~Johnny’s Shadow: 0 - 2~~

The Box Ghost: 2 - 0 

Sam mutters, “honestly, I don’t know how Shadow made it that far”. Tucker just shrugs, “eh, everyone has dumb luck sometimes. Especially when Shadow’s around”. 

Back down with Danny, who’s floating in the air and grinning, “now I am for sure without a _shadow_ of a doubt”, just as he has to throw up his net to catch two blue ectoballs, from the side a green one slams inside his net as well. Danny grunts with the effort but manages to toss the net over his head and send all three ectoballs hurtling down at Poindexter. Poindexter just dives out of the way sprawling his hands forwards as he lands in a heap on the dirt. The Box Ghost takes a chance on a cheap shot and fires away at Poindexter who cries incredulously. Danny takes the time to charge up another ectoball and fires it, again aiming straight for a net; this time The Box Ghost’s. 

“Hey Boxy! Express delivery! One spherical monstrosity of suffering coming right up!”. 

The Box Ghost springs his net up to block his face still managing to snag the purple ectoball, the weight of which yanks his net to the ground but doesn’t destroy it. “HA! YOUR CIRCULAR SUFFERING IS NO MATCH FOR MY NET OF BOX-SHAPED DOOM!”, The Box Ghost goes to swing his net and the ectoball but finds he can’t lift it up at all. He quietly mutters, “oh ”. Poindexter, grunting, takes the opportunity to shoot a green ectoball lazily into The Box Ghosts net. 

All three just sort of watch as the ectoball slowly sails into the net and the net instantly disintegrates. Poindexter smirking to himself, fails to take note of the purple ectoball now coming straight for him, getting slammed into the dirt... again. “Careful now, you’ll give yourself a stomach ache if you keep eating the dirt like that”, Danny finger guns at the coughing Poindexter. Earning a mutter of, “bullies”, from Poindexter.

Danny sighs, “dude, how many times do I have to tell you. You got shit backwards”. 

“Oh yeah, buster? Name one time you’ve ever been the victim”.

“Well, this mornin’ Dash-”, Danny steps to the side still facing the downed Poindexter, avoiding a blue ectoball. Ignoring the zap he continues, “-made me eat three expired puddings. Ten minutes later threw a baseball bat-”, sitting down to avoid another blue ectoball, “-at my head. Five minutes after that I got shoved into a locker for the-”, scooting backwards to avoid another blue ectoball, “-insult of not being bothered enough by the bat. When I got out he dumped-”, Danny gets whacked in the side by a blue ectoball and just rolls with it, “-ketchup on-“, he stops and turns to The Box Ghost, “dude we are having a moment here”. 

The Box Ghost visibly deflates, “aw”. 

Danny continues, “-my head...”. The crowd watch as Danny continues on with his tales of today’s bullying escapades with a mixture of confusion, humour and concern. While Vlad just mutters about how Danny could just kill Dash if he wanted. 

“What the heck?”, Poindexter stares at Danny, who doesn’t even seem like he cares, “either that’s a fabrication mister or I’m made of swiss cheese”. Danny breaks the moment by chuckling “watch out Vlad might try to eat you”. 

Up in the stands, Vlad mutters, “I’m not some throwaway boogie monster you can use to scare people, Daniel”. 

Poindexter lifts his chest off the ground and shoots straight into Danny’s net, yanking him back. The Box Ghost, tired of being ignored, then unleashes a hail storm of stockpiled ectoballs. Suddenly the entire arena is under siege by an absurd amount of blue ectoballs bouncing, crashing and being flung all around the arena. Eventually burying Poindexter under a pile, destroying his net. 

The mass of twenty-odd ectoballs explode into a gooey mess at the same time as the elimination horns goes off. Danny floats on his back holding his sides, his own net having also been destroyed in the onslaught of blue hellfire, as he laughs loudly, “it’s like someone attempted to put you into a Jell-O treat!”. 

Poindexter, taking in Danny’s blue goo covered form, points out, “you look pretty blue too, buster”, while struggling to stand out of the mass of blue and flicks off bits of it; splattering the walls. Looking around as Poindexter walks off Danny mutters, “wow, it’s like one of those overpriced expressionist paintings”, smirking he adds, “also made out of Jell-O”. 

Lives | Kills

Danny: 2 - 4

~~Poindexter: 0 - 3~~

~~Johnny’s Shadow: 0 - 1 1/2~~

The Box Ghost: 1 - 3 1/2

Tucker grumbles, “okay now I’m hungry”. Sam sighing, pulling out a sandwich and handing it to him. Tucker, noting that it does actually have meat in it, “aw, I knew you loved me”. Sam just leans over to him and chuckles, “well with that kiss of passion I thought Danny was the love of your life. I can’t have that now can I”, then snickering. Meanwhile, the ghosts in earshot all start whispering to each other. 

“Think the halfa is dating the boy?”.

“No it’s got to be the girl”.

“But didn’t she say he kissed him”.

“That clearly must be jealousy”.

And so on. All these whisperings slowly creating some new hot gossip about one young halfa. Vlad spits out some of his drink when he overhears someone relatively near him whisper, “so apparently the halfa has two human lovers”. Vlad begins low-key choking as the other ghost whispers back, “naw more like three, I heard from that tech guy that the halfa duplicates himself and that the halves are very fond of each other”. 

“Why haven’t I thought of that, dating myself sounds so much easier...”, the two ghosts trail off amongst themselves as Vlad is left reeling. 

Meanwhile, one Asian boy mutters the most confused and upset “what the fuck” yet. Though adding, “Paulina’s gonna be so pissed when I tell her about this”. 

Danny slides to the left sending up plumes of dirt as he avoids yet another blue ectoball, receiving yet another jolt. “I’m pretty sure my hair looks forever like a lightning bolt struck me”, he mutters as he cuts off his slide, jumping back to catch two ectoballs; rolling he hugs them to his chest. Righting himself he springs his hands and the ectoballs off his chest, sending them back at The Box Ghost. Who dives to catch them, managing to slam his face straight into the left wall, with a loud thunk. Danny shoots off a purple ectoball as The Box Ghost launches himself at it, pouncing like a cat around it. Jerking his chest up he fires two stored up ectoballs at Danny, as he then struggles to heave up the purple ectoball. Whipping it back at Danny just in time for him to catch his own two return shots. 

The purple ectoball flies straight into Danny’s net, looking like an odd form of aggressive trading. It knocks Danny back a bit but he hefts his own ectoball with far more ease than The Box Ghost did, though it’s clear it still pulls him down. He yanks his net backwards and then full force swings it forwards, sending the ectoball blasting off at The Box Ghost. 

Tucker gives an overacted full-body shrug, “well at least he can carry his own suffering or whatever”, grinning all the while. As The Box Ghost uses his net, with the two blue ectoballs inside like a baseball bat and hits the purple ectoball away; exploding against the far right wall. The swing pulls him along though, causing him to flip in the air a bit. Danny takes this time to build up yet another ectoball and just as The Box Ghost turns Danny releases it. Hands behind his head he thrusts out his chest while winking. The Ghost wildly flings the blue ectoballs in Danny’s general direction as he moves to catch the purple one. 

Unfortunately for him, the purple one collided with the blues ones in such a way and with such force that all three slam right into The Box Ghost’s net. As it explodes from the suffering weight, Danny shouts, “FINISHING MOVE! WINKY FACE!”, while wind from the blast blows dirt and ectoplasm, as well as his hair, past him. 

Quickly assessing his dirt and ectoplasm covered form, “so now what?”, Danny asks, cranking his head to the side. Looking to The Box Ghost as the final elimination horn goes off. 

Lives | Kills

Danny: 2 - 5

~~Point Dexter: 0 - 3~~

~~Johnny’s Shadow: 0 - 1 1/2~~

~~The Box Ghost: 0 - 3 1/2~~

The Box Ghost looks ecstatic at the informational request, “YOU MUST NOW FACE THE FEARSOME OTHER FINALIST! WEARING EITHER WHITE OR BLACK EQUIPMENT!”. Danny chuckles to himself, “heh, both those are my colours...”, raising an eyebrow at The Box Ghost as The Box Ghost turns to leave, “you don’t, by chance, know who the other finalist is?”. The Box Ghost doesn’t even turn around as he shouts, “YOU WILL NEVER KNOW! MWAHAHAHAHA!”. 

Danny chuckles to himself as he walks out and up towards the centre arena, whipping off all the gunk with a sideline towel. On his way to the arena, Desiree hands him black equipment, which he trades for his purple ones and the soiled towel. “Ah, much more flattering”, Danny gives his chest a quick smack, as Desiree holds up the towel with both awe and disgust. 


	5. Sporting The Law

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crime by existing

Danny looks around the circular arena, snapping his head over to the other side as footsteps sound. A black fedora is the first thing he sees. “Oh WoW, jUsT wOw, I’m AbOuT tO Be FaCe-FuCkEd By ThE lAw”, Danny flings his head back, curving his back and smacking the backs of his hands on the ground. Maintaining the position Danny turns sideways eyeing Walker, who looks highly unimpressed. Sighing, “let me guess, AgAiNsT tHe RuLeS!”, Danny mockingly imitates with sarcasm, as he flings his arms straight up. While Walker crosses his arms and glares. 

Walker speaks with a frown, “how did your spineless waste of ectoplasmic space even get here”. It’s supposed to be a question but it comes out as an accusation of guilt and disgust. 

“You want _spineless_ eh?”, Danny twists himself in circles making a donut. Then, utilizing questionable incomplete duplication tactics, he turns himself into a recreation of the Ursa Major constellation. At least half the crowd makes gagging sounds, a couple even vomits, one Asian boy visibly recoils exclaiming, “what the ever-loving fuck!”. Elsewhere in the stands, Vlad mutters, barely suppressing a shiver, “remind me to never encourage him to do that or call him spineless. _Ever_ ”.

Back down, Danny is now playing jump rope with his net, looking all too pleased with himself. Walker looks at him with a disgusted grimace, “that display certainly broke both the laws of decency and reality, this is the end for you punk!”. Walker stands tall as he pulls out his own net, slowly separating his hands; clearly finding no humour in the child’s antics. 

Danny gives the cheeky reply of, “I wouldn’t be doing my job if it didn’t”, just as the warning horn blares overhead. Signalling for Danny to actually give an ounce of a shit now; he settles into a runner's position. “So Mr.Walkman, do you think your embodiment of law can beat this hot bod of childish tomfoolery?”. 

“At least you know you’re childish”, Walker grits out. Danny chuckles, “I’m sixteen, I’m allowed to be. Besides what’s the point of powers if you don’t dick around some?”, as he shakes any possible kinks out his shoulders. Just as the starting horn cries out. Immediately Danny shoots off a ball and sprints to the left jumping his net around Walkers white ectoball. Landing on one foot, he spins forwards launching the ectoball back at Walker. Doing a semi-weightless backflip he snatches up the second white ectoball sent his way, as Walker took the time to charge up before sending Danny’s black ectoball back at him. Danny slides back a bit by the force after catching his own ectoball as-well. 

Walker, shaking off the effects of Danny’s death experience, “remind me to employ more _electricity-based_ discipline tools”, then remembering the sheer weight of Danny’s ectoball, he smirks at Danny, “I’m glad to feel that you suffer so much. You deserve no rest, filthy criminal”, Walker grins as he goes to the side catching the returned white ectoball. He then heaves up his net; slinging it over his shoulder. Flying up he yanks down the net sending the contents flying down at Danny. 

“Don’t get to cocky copper, you account for very little of it. Heck, the mosquitoes bother me more!”, Danny spins to the left throwing out his net in the process. Springing out the white and black ectoballs just in time to engulf the new white ectoball, he continues with his spin sending it quickly back at Walker with even more velocity. Walker bellows, “I guess I’ll have to ensure you lick my boots a little more often then!”. 

The two go back and forth like this for a while, the ectoballs speed picking up more and more. Eventually looking like a high-speed ping-pong game out of Hell. 

Vlad, looking down, extends a hand, palm up, at the battle, “now this, this is just plain wrong”. Just as Walker losses the ping-pong game of doom, getting pelted hard enough straight in the net that it yanks him clean off his feet. As dust crumbles off the back wall Danny coughs while steadying himself, shaking a bit. Speaking a bit breathlessly, “now that’s what I call _pounding the pavement_ ”. 

“The wall isn’t made out of pavement, nothing here is. That would be against the rules”. Walker slowly rights himself and forms a new net, having been unable to hold onto the previous one in the onslaught of pure speed. 

Danny fires off ectoball after ectoball as Walker just holds himself still, net behind his back, taking the onslaught. Danny grins knowing the strict piece of ectoplasm is up to something sneaky. His gut is proven right when Walker shoots off four well-aimed white ectoballs landing around Danny’s ectonet pulling the ectonet back past Danny, engulfing him and pinning him to the wall. Walker then blasts two square at Danny’s stomach. Danny mutters, “I swear you just want to see me suffer”, while coughing as his net is destroyed by the combination of six ectoballs. Walker smirks and simply says, “always a pleasure, ghost boy”. 

Danny barely has enough time to lash out a new net before another ectoball slams into his chest. He rolls and wraps his net around the ectoball, twisting the net up. This results in the ectoball gaining a hard right curve as he flings it out. Walker looks highly unimpressed at the fact that Danny has clearly learned what he’s doing. Walker mutters, “or maybe not”, as the net doesn’t fully untwist, yanking the net along with the balls, cleanly out of Danny’s hands. 

Up in the stands, Tucker shakes his head in shock, “man! Danny could totally cream everyone in, like, every sport!”, shrugging, “if he actually tried that is”. Sam nods in agreement adding, “though with this display he would reveal himself in seconds and possibly destroy the school simultaneously”. Tucker just shrugs again, “I could do with some school-based destruction and I doubt Dash would ever bully any of us again”. Sam just looks at him, filled with disappointment but unsurprised, “have the two of you learned nothing...”. 

Looking back down she catches the sight of Danny’s new net, two white and one black ectoball inside, wrapping around his leg with such force that he goes spinning wildly across the entire length of his side of the arena. All the while getting zapped by all the white ectoballs he is completely and utterly missing. Eventually, he lands face down in the dirt as his legs then go over his head, flipping him one last time. 

After Danny flings out his nets contents in a random direction and catches two white ectoballs, Danny turns and instantly vomits straight into the net, splashing all over the two ectoballs. Spitting to get rid of the after taste and any remnants, before smirking evilly, “today, Walkman, you are the janitor”, he chuckles darkly as he springs his hands apart, launching the vomit-soaked ectoballs at Walker’s face. “I consider this a direct crime against me! you monster!”, Walker cries as the ectoballs slam into his face, getting a little of the mess in his mouth. 

One Asian boy this time does vomit while saying, “what the fuck, what the fuck, there is no merciful god”. While both Tucker and Sam laugh so hard they hurt themselves, with Tucker accidentally smashing his forehead on the seat in front of him.

Walker is still so wrapped up in utter disgust that he doesn’t notice Danny catching two more white ectoballs, flinging them at Walker followed by a new black ectoball. Walker, with his hands on his face wiping away vomit, gets his hands ripped down his face as three ectoballs impact his net; slamming to the ground. Walker doesn’t let go however, prompting Danny to mutter, “stupid determined bastard”, at the ground. 

Walker strugglingly flings his net up and out at Danny. Who jumps up at an angle catching it, all but his toes completely stiff. Spinning the net around, Danny again flings the ectoballs with a right spin (this time not fucking up by sending the net along with the ectoballs), adding a new black ectoball into the mix heading straight at Walker. “That trick won’t work twice!...”, Walker trails off as it does, in fact, work twice. The ectoballs all landing in his net, destroying it. Walker simply turns on his heels and walks off, patting away bits of dirt. While Danny shouts, “what! Not even gonna dignify me with a response?!”, which is heard clearly over the grand elimination horn. 

Finals: Lives | Kills

Danny: 1 - 4 — WINNER

~~Walker: 0 - 1~~

Danny does a little merry jig as he descends the steps, at the same time people begin getting up from the stands, either leaving the colosseum or going up to different competitors. Sam and Tucker, on their way down to Danny, excitedly flip off Walker as they pass him. Both of whom are wearing giddy open-mouthed grins as Walker just scowls at them. 

* * *

Off to the side of the waiting area Skulker, Desiree and Ember shake their heads and mutter amongst themselves. 

“I can’t believe that whelp!”.

“Me neither, and I was never even in the arena with the dipstick!”.

“I say be glad for that, that child is a menace”, Desiree tosses Danny’s finals towel at Ember, smirking as Ember gags. 

* * *

The two friends now walking up to Danny as he unceremoniously dumps his black equipment on the side. Sam pokes him, “so what wonderful educational life lesson did we learn today?”. Danny chuckles with a raised eyebrow, “that my suffering _IS_ the joke?”. Tucker laughs, “well clearly that’s your best joke yet!”. 

“And I don’t even have to try for that joke, how slick am I?”, Danny exaggeratedly rests a hand on his chest as he puffs it out. Sam raises an eyebrow at him, “Danny, I think it’s more than that. I mean did you hear the crowd?”. While Tucker animatedly jumps around Danny like a puppy, “yeah, dude! They cheered and shit every time you did, well, anything!”. 

Sam muttering, “or anytime something was done to you”. Danny rubs the back of his neck bashfully, “well I am _The_ halfa... well the one that matters anyway”, then grinning goofily.

Tucker nods, “Yeah, I saw he was here, noticed he even walked up to you”. Sam gives Danny a questioning look, “and the other ghosts were all pretty displeased about him being there actually. Was kinda shocked by that.” Shrugging Danny adds, “you’d think they’d all like or respect him. Being the first and all”. Tucker points at him, “don’t forget that he’s one of the few that actually beats your ass regularly”. Sam pinches her nose, “Tucker, phrasing, oh my Zone”. 

Danny makes a disgusted face when he gets what Sam means, “I would rather forget that, and I think that shit just ain’t enough for the ghosts”. Earning a chuckle from Sam, “glad to see they have some standards at least”. 

“I don’t know about standards. Vlad’s a pretty damn low bar”, Danny puts his hands behind his head as they board the Speeder. Everyone but Danny sitting down, Tucker shakes his head and mutters, “I still can’t believe The Box Ghost, of all ghosts, overwhelmed both you and another ghost simultaneously”. Danny chuckles, “I think we made The Box Ghosts entire afterlife today, actually”. 

Turning the Speeder around the trio shoot off back home. Unaware of the Asian stowaway softly muttering, “what the fuck... just please, oh please, let me go _anywhere_ normal”.

**End.**

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Y'know, when you mentioned that ghosts actually have their own leagues of non-contact sport, this really wasn't what I had in mind."


End file.
